I am thankful for...

Many times in life, we forget about the simple things we should be thankful for. I have a lot to thank the Lord for this week. I am thankful for being alive and for having the most magnificent friends and family. I am thankful for the opportunities that I have had to follow my dreams. I am humbled by the privilege that I have. I am thankful for my life.

You may not have the car, home, money or clothes that you want right now. Even so, be thankful for what you do have. Appreciating what you have right now will create a feeling of abundance. If you focus on being discontent, those negative thoughts will attract even more negative feelings.

I am EXTREMELY thankful for my parents and sisters for always being there for me, for supporting me in what I want to do, for loving me so much, for having FAITH in me and for encouraging me towards perfection.

I am thankful for the friends I’ve had and still have, I am thankful that "God so loved the world that He gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life." (John 3:16). Knowing God loves me that much make me thankful each and every day.

I am equally thankful for getting too many e-mails because it lets me know I have friends who are thinking of me. Friends who can stand by me through thick and thin, JFF (Just Friends Forever)

I am thankful because I can walk and see the beauty around me. There are those whose world is ALWAYS DARK and whose entire life has been spent on SILENCE. You see them everyday at work, school, church gates, and street corners, without shelter or any tangible means of livelihood.

I am thankful I have suffered heart break over and over again, it only goes to show that I am human enough, with shortcomings, vulnerabilities. I also get the chance to learn from past mistakes and strive for the better, next time around.

I am thankful I’ve been loved and loved in return because there are a lot of people for whom no one has ever cared.

I am thankful for the opportunity to HELP OTHERS, cos every time I look around, I see people who have not been as abundantly blessed as I am and for that I AM THANKFUL FOR.

Of course our lives are never perfect but we still strive for perfection. But you know how it is. You reach the top of one mountain and lo and behold! There’s another mountain to climb! Don't feel discouraged by this. Be sure to look back at all the mountains you've climbed and acknowledge the growth and progress you've made. Be thankful for the experiences because without them, you wouldn't be where you are today

I am happy for now. This is a moment of infinite possibility, unattached the meaningless past while being untethered from the future that is neither here nor promised.

What are you thankful for?

Just a lil further now...

Saturday I went to dinner with UD. A very beautiful young man with whom I have a great respect for. He’s funny and a little geeky, reads science books and romance fiction and is also a computer programmer. He is very athletically inclined and despite having gorgeous eyes and wavy dark hair – I found myself mostly enamored of his smile which has a charming hitch. He is younger than i. Four years younger, in fact.

We talked for some hours after which we said pleasant good byes and I left to join Rach (my flat mate) as she was getting ready for her date. I had to help fix her up.

Then I promptly cried for another two hours.

I don’t get it and I couldn't shake it. This overwhelming sense of isolation fell over me like an Alaskan winter and I sobbed. Logically, I know I can break at least half of it down by pure exhaustion, being physically tired and over worked/ over-stressed. But the remainder I figure is this…

I am worried that I have broken something in me that cannot be fixed. I cried because I thought all afternoon, that once I made the decision to get back into the dating game, to consciously chose to open myself to a new partnership – that I would feel… I dunno… sexy, smart and energetic. I thought I would feel adventurous and excited and I would be attracted to men who would see me. Actually SEE me. I thought I would laugh more and be buoyant and carefree and youthful. I thought I would get this electrical thunderstorm of possibilities in my belly and flutters in my chest and I would wake up ready to explore the realm of the opposite sex again!

But I don’t feel that. Any of it.

I feel lost and overwhelmed and - - invisible, or perhaps the better word is hollow.

When I was consciously abstaining from the dating scene for two years, I grew accustomed to the freedom of being independent of anyone else’s energies. I grew comfortable with my body, my sense of adventure and all the things I felt defined me.

It’s almost like, having made the choice to engage; those definitions are being challenged in my own mind.

No one else is challenging them – I AM.

And I am unsure for the first time in two years if they will hold up under the pressure. So I don’t feel sexy, or smart of energetic. I don’t feel adventurous or excited or independent. I am suddenly, uncomfortably aware of… weaknesses in my resolve that I don’t like, and logically, if those weaknesses are present and I don’t actively work on fixing them – when I finally DO enter into a semi-serious relationship, those points under stress will crack, and I will cave in.

That’s not okay.

So I guess what I’m saying is. I am not ready still. And although my past feels clean and ready to be let go of – I have not yet grown into my new healthy skin. I have not yet fleshed out my newly purged self into a vibrant creature. I have not yet accepted all that I have wanted to be is FINALLY here… almost. I do not own it yet.

It’s so close I can almost taste it – but I’m not there yet, and I can admit that.

UD asked if we could get together again, and I said I’d like to. I also pushed it out a few weeks wherein I will have time to organize my life, the new apt, the new job and the body quest.

I need a little more time to acclimate to my new body, this new Anne. She is still somewhat of a mystery and when I have finally shrugged into my new skin and tightened up the loose parts of my fits – I will re-introduce myself to everyone.

I will walk up to my friends who have known me all my life and say, “Hi, I’m Anne.”

And they will know – that I have finally accepted all the parts, La Loba has sung her song, and I am ready for the next level.

Just a little further now. I’ve already come so far, just a little further.

EDITORS NOTE:  Anne (not real name) is a guest blogger 

Don Jazzy splits with D'Banj (as seen on Twitter)

It is with a heavy heart that i announce the end of a long Era and the beginning of a new One
— Michael Collins (@DONJAZZY) March 17, 2012

Some of the Rumours U have all heard recently re sad but true.
— Michael Collins (@DONJAZZY) March 17, 2012

The way forward now is to make sure i keep bringing you guys more of the beautiful music y'all love to dance to.
— Michael Collins (@DONJAZZY) March 17, 2012

And to end d old era i will b donating d proceeds of my production catalogue from day 1 till date to 5 charity organizations. Thanks. IDJA
— Michael Collins (@DONJAZZY) March 17, 2012

THE QUESTIONS: 

1. What does ending an era mean? (Does it mean he will no longer be connected to D'Banj in anyway?)

1. What does "some of the rumours" mean? Are there other factors we are not aware of?

1. This is the most confusing part "Donating all his profits to charity" That's 9 whole years of hard labour being given away like that. Is he being forced to do so or he's giving it away willingly, which doesn't make sense. Is there a clause in the contract that states that if and when he splits with D'Banj, all he has ever made will be given to some charity of sorts??
   
2. Was his account hacked as some are claiming??

Until we learn the full details of what happened, we might be better off as observers now rather than judges!

Attitude: the rights and wrongs

Those who succeed have a certain type of mind. While it is true that they have ambition, vision and driving power, capacity for work, and a strong will they also seize each opportunity when it comes. They are always willing and ready. The main cause of their success can be found in their way of thinking. Whilst others can see the word IMPOSSIBLE, they don’t even understand the word. To them all they see is opportunity. They are success conscious people, who think in terms of success, abundance and prosperity.

As Buddha said, ‘A man is what he thinks all day long’, likewise their thoughts will manifest. Others will wonder as to how they seem to leap effortlessly across hurdles. While we cannot all make the top 100, most of us live well below our potential. We give up too soon and instead of putting in the required effort we opt for the easy way out which is settling for less. Through our mental attitude we can transcend to great heights. Those who think they can do it, indeed do it.

As Henry Ford put it when he said, “those who think they can't and those who think they can, they are both right”. Inside us we have great abilities that are incomprehensible. I am sure that each one of us has at some point done something in our lives we never thought possible. Not only did we surprise others but we surprised even ourselves! We did it because either we had to do it or we mentally pushed ourselves to do it. So it is not that we cannot do it, it is a matter of whether or not we think we can do it.

Thus our achievements are largely dependent on our mental attitude. Even if we fail to reach the moon, by adopting the ‘can do’ attitude we can at least reach the stars. My personal experience has revealed that the ‘can do’ attitude is fundamental in determining whether we get hold of our dreams or not. I have come across folks in life who work tirelessly, but yet are unsatisfied with their achievements. What was missing was just the right attitude.

Even if these people give all their strength in their work, their consciousness is one of poverty. All they talk of is how hard it is, how much scarcity there is in the world and how they will never be able to achieve their dreams. This then becomes a self fulfilling prophecy and according to their belief system so it becomes.

How then do we acquire the right attitude? Some people are naturally endowed with a ‘can do’ attitude, and regardless of the situation they just go for their dreams with little….. The majority of us however, have the ‘it is impossible’ attitude. In order to develop a new way of thinking, we must actively cultivate it. It’s about kicking off habits and questioning whether or not we really can’t do it. We got to ask the question, ‘why can’t I do it?’, ‘what is stopping me?’.

When we begin to question we may realise that the only thing stopping us is just our own limited way of thinking. Push yourself a bit further, and say to yourself, ‘even if I can’t do it, I am going to at least try.’ Set yourself challenges, instead of seeking the easy way out, take a challenge. You will surprise yourself by achieving it. And with one achievement behind you, your confidence sky rockets and gradually the ‘can do’ attitude will become a habit to you.

We must not forget however, that true success is based on service. In our quest to reach our dreams, we must think of others. What will your success bring to the lives of others? How are you going to benefit humankind?

This point is made clear by Wallace Wattles in the Science of Getting Rich when he stresses the importance of creativity and not competition. While money and fame are important, when we are of service we gain a unique satisfaction which no amount of money can afford to buy. This is true success, where we have both inner and outer satisfaction. All this can be achieved when we adopt the right attitude.